Moving forward

Regardless of how long I've been a manager, there are people that you hire that are different than what you thought at the interview - in both the positive and negative way.  One of my joys of work is that I operate in a way where I want my partners to be relaxed - relaxed enough not only to be able to tell me anything on their mind, but also that they can make fun of me.  I've learned a lot this year - probably more from the partners I supervise more than my peers or my supervisors.

This has been a year of complete cuteness from the kids.  Gen not only walks but she can talk.  Even though I think she thinks "Favorite Uncle = Brian" is just like how you point at a color and say red, I'll accept my position as a given fact.  At home, we were looking at all our cell phones - the wallpaper for everything is Gen.  On top of Gen, I got a cute little baby Buddha nephew in Zachy.   The joy of children is not just in my nuclear family.  I have tremendous joy in looking at Jensen and Jennifer's monthly updates of Sophia growing.  There is this overwhelming feeling of peace and joy around that family.  Love abound and this wonderful awe at every step of Sophie's development.

Gretchen and I had this conversation awhile back.  Kids grow up.  They become too heavy to hold or they start playing more violently, etc.  They basically go through stages where you're their babysitter and friend - to simply ust another adult in the room.  I still remember the days of watching Joshua and Noah - putting Noah down to bed.  Taking Zachy and Noah to the park as they "shot each other."  Those boys are so much more grown up now.  Noah still will run to me and give me a big hug.  But times change and . . . your favorites at church change.  Indeed, Gabby is still mega cute, especially with her squeaky shoes, but the person that really is a diamond in the rough is Justice.  Addison and Justice are just two amazing boys.  Addison has his big eyes and long hair.  Justice is pretty much everyone's friend.  He'll share anything.  He'll let anyone hold him and he'll just point where he wants to go.  I remember that Thanksgiving was a hectic time, but just getting to hold him for a few minutes at Thanksgiving gave me a great sense of peace.

This year has been marked with great food as well.  Pete's experiments has resulted in wonderful food for the entire house - filet mignon, smoked pork, halibut, diver sea scallops, amazing choc chip cookies, a breakfast hash, etc.  I haven't eaten so well in ages.

I've become friends with some of the most interesting people.  Either deepening some friendships and finally getting to know others.  I feel honored to know such cool people like Thomas and Heather Davis.  I'm always humbled by being around Teddy - the ultimate renaissance man that can carry a great conversation on anything while keeping you engaged and participating.  Bruce Hall - the most admirable 63 year old guy I know - I can only aspire to be as caring and generous as him as I get older.  Paul and Larina - one awesome couple.  Nothing like doing some manual labor together and crazy eating to build a friendship.  

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I don't know if I have any resolutions.  There are some things that I've realized.  I think I have to flesh out what it means for me to take care of myself.  Working 12 hrs straight and going to volunteer for another few hours is not healthy.  I'm trying to learn how to breath more.  I'm trying to learn how to be again more - simply being.  A long time ago, I started reading "Grace Eventually" - Anne Lamott.  Simple stories.  Not a textbook hero or anything.  Just living life simply - not necessarily a eco-green, save the world, and reduce your carbon footprint book.  Just simple reading about small life stories.  I kind of miss that.  So I bought the book and began again.  

There's that term people have used before that no one knows what it means - spiritual formation.  I'm trying to figure out that stuff again.  Not for the sake of consistency but for rythmns of life, I'd like to figure out stuff like prayer, rest, eating, etc.  I realized a few months ago that some people have the "luxury" of winding down before they sleep. They read a book or what not.  I've been going so fast that I only know one way of going to bed - "dead dog tired."

As the economy has taken a hard hit, people are being hurt financially.  I've been amazingly blessed to be at a store that is still doing really well.  A definite blessing from God.  I feel fortunate to have such job security.  Not just that they need to have a manager at SBUX, but that my results are still strong in this economy - even within the city of Austin's SBUX mine has survived a lot.  It's weird to be blessed like that - the favor of God over you and your work.

I have become more and more thankful at meals.  Realizing how much I have - to get to choose what I want, to have as much as I want (and more).  Daily sustenance coupled with abundance and favorable options - crazy.

No good closing thought today.  Just thoughts.  I am a thankful person to be in community with people.  To share in the joy of other people that have kids.  To share in the pain and triumph of conflict.  To be the lucky one that gets to hear a story instead of living it to learn a deep lesson.  I am glad to be where I am and I look forward to whatever moving ahead can mean.